LNR5: Leif's Brand New Underwear (2006)

Leif's Brand New Underwear (LNR5) album cover

# Tracks 20
Total Time 59:59
Source Computer (.wav), Tascam 424 4-track
Src Date 1999 - 2006
Mixing Cool Edit 96, Acid 1
Mix Date 2003 - 2006
Release Date

Album Notes

This is the first CD since 2003. Some people thought it would never be released, but they have all been proven wrong. Twenty tracks and one hour make for good time listening.

As always, the mp3s are 128kb/s, VBR 320kb/s, stereo.

Cover Art

The artwork:
(Images are 300 dpi.)


  1. Happy Freakin' Birthday
    Track 1
    Length 2:13
    Size 2.7 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes For Rikki's birthday in 2005. This song found its way on to the KLSU/Legacy Modern Mixtape in April 2006. It was remastered by Jerry.

    Got lots of ground beef
    A tasty, tasty treat
    My mommy says I can't cross the street
    So it's your birthday
    A sunny, fluffy day
    This kitty keep on saying he'll fly away
    He'll fly away
    Up into the sky
    And there he'll smile oh why why why
    This isn't very fair
    I need new underwear
    And when I go to buy that I will buy you wicker chair

    Happy freakin' birthday
    Happy happy freakin' birthday
    Cake (gifts)
    Pie (fun)
    In (your) home
    Happy freakin' birthday
    Happy happy freakin' birthday
    Smiles (play)
    Jump (friends)
    All (your) own

    Dressed up in my best
    No wrinkles and a vest
    I combed my hair and tied my shoes and brushed my teeth with Crest
    My mommy drops me off
    Your hair is very soft
    There are some stupid kids who play too rough
    Balloons and cheese
    I want a donkey ride
    And when it's my turn I'll smile real wide
    I really want that piece
    The one with all the cream
    I don't think I can eat it because I ate jelly beans

  2. Brevity
    Track 2
    Length 3:55
    Size 4.7 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes Another attempt at rapping. The chorus came first, as usual. I threw some verses together but wanted to rewrite the lyrics once the song's form was complete. Never did.

    Whoah, that sound again goes right into my ear
    Waking me from these cool dreams that quickly disappear
    The alarm clock screams as I roll across the bed
    So that I can turn it off and then get up and go get fed

    It's the weekend so I pick a cool freakin' shirt
    Then I remember that it's not and I have to go to work
    Now this work I don't know if I should write a song about
    It involves a lot of sitting and with that I have my doubts

    So I change the theme and move on to something else
    Something that is more important with more chance to interest
    And with that I pause 'cause I don't have much to say
    This whole stupid music thing is such a waste

    When you pick at random if you have an average song
    And you figure that it's only 4 minutes long
    There's a lot of crap in it that shouldn't be there
    They should trim the whole thing down if they even cared

    (I can't see that)
    (I can't see that)

    So I said that thing about keeping your song short
    But I have a second verse to talk over your dumb retort
    And you have to admit that this groove is kinda cool
    You'd be feeling very sad if this track didn't fill your room

    And that brings me to other topic of this song
    Don't feel you need to move or admit to being wrong
    For what I mean is that music is to be enjoyed
    I can't believe that anyone can ever be employed

    By doing this thing that anyone can do
    All these sounds that you hear were recorded in my room
    On the third floor of this hexagon complex
    Across the hall I heard this couple having sex

    So what I mean is that a song shouldn't be about all of your pain
    'Cause no one really cares that you're so very very vain
    In the end you're an entertainer that is playing for the crowd
    All your cliché'd feelings shouldn't be allowed

  3. Gut Fludge
    Track 3
    Length 1:56
    Size 2.2 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes The title comes from an episode of the Nickelodeon show "The Adventures of Pete and Pete".

    Would you like for me to look at you?
    Are you trying to be how everyone wants you?
    Do you come here to drink shit beer
    And forget your life and all your friends suck?

    You suck and really piss me off

    I look at you, you look like a dick
    Get out of my way, you make me fucking sick
    You check the room and think of a line
    You find a girl and waste each other's time

  4. Just a Friend
    Track 4
    Length 4:16
    Size 5.0 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes A Biz Markie song. I decided not to add bass guitar to it. Some of the lyrics I made up because I couldn't figure them out.

    Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
    But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
    Let me tell ya a story of my situation
    I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation
    The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
    She had long hair and a short miniskirt
    I just got offstage drippin', pourin' with sweat
    I was walkin' through the crowd and guess who I met
    I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth
    So I can ask you some questions and see if you are a hundred proof"
    I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
    She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
    I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
    I said, "How do you like the show?"
    she said, "I was very amused"
    I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range
    But when I spring the question, she acted kind of strange
    Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend
    She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend"

    Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
    This is what I'm goin' sing

    You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
    And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
    You got what I need but you say he's just a friend
    But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
    You got what I need but you say he's just a friend
    But you say he's just a friend

    So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
    I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
    'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
    Like Agnes, Agatha, Jermain, and Jack
    Forget about that, let's go into the story
    About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
    So we started talkin', gettin' familiar
    Spendin' a lot of time so we can build a
    Relationship or some understanding
    How it's gonna be in a future we was plannin'
    Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
    I had no idea I was in for a treat
    After this was established, everything was cool
    The tour was over and she went back to school
    I called every day to see how she was doin'
    Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
    I called her room, a guy picked up, and then I called again
    I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"

    Don't gimme that, don't even gimme that
    Just bust this

    So I came to her college on a surprise visit
    To see my girl that was so exquisite
    It was a school day, I knew she was there
    The first semester of the school year
    I went to her gate to ask where was her dorm
    This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
    He told me where it was and I as on my way
    To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
    I arrived in front of the dormitory
    "Yo, could you tell me where is door three?"
    They showed me where it was for the moment
    I didn't know I was in for such an event
    So I came to her room and opened the door
    Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
    A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
    I was so in shock my heart went down south
    So please listen to the message that I send
    Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend

  5. i'm on fire
    Track 5
    Length 5:29
    Size 7.0 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes This one was hard. I wanted a huge sound but couldn't quite get it, so this is what you get instead.

    Cannot help but notice I'm on fire I say she cannot know this, my default Reaction is to wear it and make it mine I cannot let her know that I'm on fire

    I wasted many hours trying to write I drank a bottle of rum and nearly died I can't forget her nose and both her eyes I cannot let her know that I'm on fire

    Watch as I fail and then tell me to leave Punish the voice and then see if I breathe I can see that I should always believe That there's no way I'll see you again I know that you can be much meaner than me Because talking to you is so suffocating If I could only leave I don't know who would wave And there's no way I'll see you again

    It seems the lies I told you felt alright The waves that I succumbed to crashed inside The place there once was water now is dry The rain you made is gone now and I'm on fire

  6. cannot find it
    Track 6
    Length 1:02
    Size 1.2 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes Meant to be a demo for later development, but I never went back to add lyrics or create more structure. I didn't want to lose the feel of it as it is.


  7. Totally
    Track 7
    Length 2:00
    Size 2.3 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes A sadder version of the Screeching Weasel song I already covered on "Dead Pigs"

    Totally cool that your hair is blue
    I totally drool when I think about you

    Totally neat, totally sweet
    Totally knock me off my feet
    Totally rad but it's too bad
    You're not aware of all my plans

    Totally lust when I see you around
    The Bellemont bus takes me right by your house

    Totally neat, totally sweet
    Totally knock me off my feet
    Totally lame that you won't say
    You'll hang out with me everyday

    I totally I totally love everything about you

  8. Leather Jacket
    Track 8
    Length 1:41
    Size 2.0 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes Another Screeching Weasel cover.

    I want to tell you what's on my mind
    I want to bill you for wasted time
    And wasted cigarettes that quenched your fix
    And wasted spit I left there upon your lips

    I'm getting used to the fact you left
    I'm getting used to the loneliness
    But even if you knew that you wouldn't care
    Now I sit and talk to an empty chair

    And bang my head against the wall
    And think up ways I should have told you to fuck off
    But I won't lose a bit of sleep
    'Cause I know that you're really just a creep
    And I've got something that I'm gonna keep
    Forever and ever and ever
    Your leather jacket

  9. Brittle Rope
    Track 9
    Length 2:43
    Size 3.2 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes Old song only now recorded.

    Brittle rope splinters into my skin
    If you knock then I won't let you in
    But I'm feeling alive with what I have inside
    And I don't know if I can ever win

    You will love if you believe it, no

    Plastic fibers cut into my neck
    That door stops you from keeping me sick
    You can't keep me alive in case I want to die
    Why do you think it's some kind of trick

    You will love if you release it, no

    You will love if you believe me, no

    Plastic fibers cut into my skin
    If you knock then I won't let you in
    But I'm feeling alive with what I have inside
    And I don't know if I can ever win

  10. Polly
    Track 10
    Length 2:58
    Size 3.8 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes The main guitar and vocal tracks were recorded on my Tascam 4-track back in 1999. I moved it to computer when I was working on "Dead Pigs" but it never sounded right. For this CD, I decided to redo the backing vocals and use it for filler so I could be done with it.

    [Look them up yourself]

  11. interlude
    Track 11
    Length 1:24
    Size 1.3 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes While fixing a few of this CD's songs' bass problems, I quickly through this together and decided it'd make sense as an interlude between sad and happy songs. In lieu of cassettes or records, it'd be a good way to transit from one side to the next. I like an album with stuff in between songs. I wanted more on this album but didn't quite get around to it.


  12. Happy
    Track 12
    Length 2:18
    Size 2.9 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes A stupid easy riff to showcase my keyboard skills on the Yamaha HS-500.


  13. All the Things She Said
    Track 13
    Length 3:22
    Size 4.0 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes I covered a t.A.T.u. song. I think it sounds pretty awesome.

    All the things she said
    All the things she said
    Running through my head
    Running through my head
    Running through my head
    All the things she said
    All the things she said
    Running through my head
    All the things she said
    This is not enough

    I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
    If I'm asking for help it's only because
    Being with you has opened my eyes
    Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

    I keep asking myself, wondering how
    I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
    Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
    Nobody else so we can be free

    And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
    They say it's my fault but I want her so much
    Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
    Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
    When they stop and stare - don't worry me
    'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
    I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
    But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

    Mother looking at me
    Tell me what do you see?
    Yes, I've lost my mind
    Daddy looking at me
    Will I ever be free?
    Have I crossed the line?

  14. Porch
    Track 14
    Length 3:57
    Size 4.9 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes I like the Pearl Jam song. I wanted to cover it, and for the most part, I like my interpretion more than the original. I also changed some lyrics.

    What the fuck is this world
    Running to, you didn't
    Leave a message, at least
    I coulda learned your voice one last time
    Daily minefield, this could
    Be my time by you
    Would you hit me?
    Would you hit me?
    Oh oh oh

    All the bills go by and
    Initiatives are taken up
    By the middle, there ain't gonna be any middle any more
    And the cross I'm bearing home
    Ain't indicative of my place
    Left the porch
    Left the porch
    Oh oh oh

    Hear my name, take a good look
    This could be the end
    Hold my hand, walk beside me
    I just need to say

    Hear my name, take a good look
    This could be the end
    Hold my hand, lie beside me
    I just need to say
    I could not take a-just one day
    I know when I would not ever
    Touch you, hold you, feel you, never hold
    Never again

  15. Come As We Were
    Track 15
    Length 3:09
    Size 3.5 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes Samples from Nirvana's "Come As You Are" and "tourette's" as well as some weird stuff from a Sonic Youth song.


  16. porn
    Track 16
    Length 3:52
    Size 4.5 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes I found an mpeg one night and it was so rhythmic and inspiring.


  17. Meat Frequency
    Track 17
    Length 5:50
    Size 6.4 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes I finally put this together after so many years. It started as a mix of sounds I made with Cool Edit, ear-piercing sounds that give me a headache.

    The ground meat is in the oven
    Tasting, checking temperature
    I don't know
    Cannot tell the frequency
    Many many dead
    And the meat in the oven

    And I've laid still
    Then they came to the door
    And they opened the oven the door
    The meat (pain) ends
    I can't quite figure it out what are going on

    Many dead (deep)
    Tasting (deep)
    Frequency (deep)
    Checking temperature (deep)

    What are going on?

  18. Trying Too Hard
    Track 18
    Length 3:30
    Size 4.1 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes I'm not sure if this is lame or pretty cool. Me? Rapping? What do I have to say?

    What's this tambourine doing? Does it keep going? What the hell? Wait. Wait, does the beat come in or... or is this... does it just keep going? Okay. There we go. I got it. Um. Wait, do I just... do I just start? Or... Wait, back it up again. No. To the beginning. Okay, just go.

    I'm tryin' too hard to be what I can't and it
    Seems like these words they don't really matter
    Fifty-two tries to find the right rhythmic pattern
    Turns out I don't really have the talent
    Beatin' my head to loosen the words that can
    Flow out the mouths of more able black men
    Maybe I can't but maybe I really want to
    Find something that you can shake and groove to

    Mundane concepts fly, triggered by privileged thought
    Sitting in rooms, not thinking 'bout what went wrong
    "There's no Other here". What about point of view?
    Plastic windows can't reach around, drip from view


    This is the bridge
    This is the bridge
    The perfect time to fall back and think about the bridge
    This is the bridge
    This is the bridge
    I can't think about any other words right now

    Sunglasses on face, believing that he owns all
    Driving around in fancy car that he bought
    Treating others with contempt, he deserves
    All the privilege that white skin has not earned


  19. Sometimes Can't See Lightning
    Track 19
    Length 3:09
    Size 3.7 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes A song about relaxing outdoors in Nature and trying not to worry about the things that don't really matter.

    Hold on, wind can take you
    Drift on where you go to
    You're like that, didn't you notice?
    Sometimes can't see lightning

    Look up, why's your head down?
    Green leaves make the shade so
    We lie back, watch the birds and
    Clouds flow cause they like it

    Sky breathe, find it though where I feed
    I can't find it there on my own
    My seed might be thought to whine free
    Lime scent, try it still and I roam

  20. The K Stands for Kay
    Track 20
    Length 1:03
    Size 1.3 MB
    Download speaker icon
    Notes Also for Rikki's birthday in 2005. I ran out of time, so I kept it short. In doing so, it is believed by some to not really be about someone.

    In the first place
    I wrote a ballad again
    And I keep rewriting lines

    Commander, back off
    I see you wasting your time
    Step away 'cause she is mine

    And the K it stands for Kay