LNR5: Leif's Brand New Underwear (2006)

Leif's Brand New Underwear (LNR5) album cover

# Tracks	20
Total Time	59:59
Source	Computer (.wav), Tascam 424 4-track
Src Date	1999 - 2006
Mixing	Cool Edit 96, Acid 1
Mix Date	2003 - 2006
Release Date	2006-09-05

Album Notes

This is the first CD since 2003. Some people thought it would never be released, but they have all been proven wrong. Twenty tracks and one hour make for good time listening.

As always, the mp3s are 128kb/s, VBR 320kb/s, stereo.

Cover Art

The artwork:
(Images are 300 dpi.)

Front (400KB)
Back (304KB)

Songs

Happy Freakin' Birthday

Track		1
Length		2:13
Size		2.7 MB
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Notes		For Rikki's birthday in 2005. This song found its way on to the KLSU/Legacy Modern Mixtape in April 2006. It was remastered by Jerry.

Lyrics

Got lots of ground beef
A tasty, tasty treat
My mommy says I can't cross the street
So it's your birthday
A sunny, fluffy day
This kitty keep on saying he'll fly away
He'll fly away
Up into the sky
And there he'll smile oh why why why
This isn't very fair
I need new underwear
And when I go to buy that I will buy you wicker chair

Happy freakin' birthday
Happy happy freakin' birthday
Cake (gifts)
Pie (fun)
In (your) home
Happy freakin' birthday
Happy happy freakin' birthday
Smiles (play)
Jump (friends)
All (your) own

Dressed up in my best
No wrinkles and a vest
I combed my hair and tied my shoes and brushed my teeth with Crest
My mommy drops me off
Your hair is very soft
There are some stupid kids who play too rough
Balloons and cheese
I want a donkey ride
And when it's my turn I'll smile real wide
I really want that piece
The one with all the cream
I don't think I can eat it because I ate jelly beans

Brevity

Track		2
Length		3:55
Size		4.7 MB
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Notes		Another attempt at rapping. The chorus came first, as usual. I threw some verses together but wanted to rewrite the lyrics once the song's form was complete. Never did.

Lyrics

Whoah, that sound again goes right into my ear
Waking me from these cool dreams that quickly disappear
The alarm clock screams as I roll across the bed
So that I can turn it off and then get up and go get fed

It's the weekend so I pick a cool freakin' shirt
Then I remember that it's not and I have to go to work
Now this work I don't know if I should write a song about
It involves a lot of sitting and with that I have my doubts

So I change the theme and move on to something else
Something that is more important with more chance to interest
And with that I pause 'cause I don't have much to say
This whole stupid music thing is such a waste

When you pick at random if you have an average song
And you figure that it's only 4 minutes long
There's a lot of crap in it that shouldn't be there
They should trim the whole thing down if they even cared

Brevity
(I can't see that)
Levity
(I can't see that)

So I said that thing about keeping your song short
But I have a second verse to talk over your dumb retort
And you have to admit that this groove is kinda cool
You'd be feeling very sad if this track didn't fill your room

And that brings me to other topic of this song
Don't feel you need to move or admit to being wrong
For what I mean is that music is to be enjoyed
I can't believe that anyone can ever be employed

By doing this thing that anyone can do
All these sounds that you hear were recorded in my room
On the third floor of this hexagon complex
Across the hall I heard this couple having sex

So what I mean is that a song shouldn't be about all of your pain
'Cause no one really cares that you're so very very vain
In the end you're an entertainer that is playing for the crowd
All your cliché'd feelings shouldn't be allowed

Gut Fludge

Track		3
Length		1:56
Size		2.2 MB
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Notes		The title comes from an episode of the Nickelodeon show "The Adventures of Pete and Pete".

Lyrics

Would you like for me to look at you?
Are you trying to be how everyone wants you?
Do you come here to drink shit beer
And forget your life and all your friends suck?

You suck and really piss me off

I look at you, you look like a dick
Get out of my way, you make me fucking sick
You check the room and think of a line
You find a girl and waste each other's time

Just a Friend

Track		4
Length		4:16
Size		5.0 MB
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Notes		A Biz Markie song. I decided not to add bass guitar to it. Some of the lyrics I made up because I couldn't figure them out.

Lyrics

Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got offstage drippin', pourin' with sweat
I was walkin' through the crowd and guess who I met
I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions and see if you are a hundred proof"
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, "How do you like the show?"
she said, "I was very amused"
I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range
But when I spring the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend
She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend"

Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Jermain, and Jack
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', gettin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build a
Relationship or some understanding
How it's gonna be in a future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her room, a guy picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"

Don't gimme that, don't even gimme that
Just bust this

So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to her gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrived in front of the dormitory
"Yo, could you tell me where is door three?"
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didn't know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I send
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend

i'm on fire

Track		5
Length		5:29
Size		7.0 MB
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Notes		This one was hard. I wanted a huge sound but couldn't quite get it, so this is what you get instead.

Lyrics

Cannot help but notice I'm on fire I say she cannot know this, my default Reaction is to wear it and make it mine I cannot let her know that I'm on fire

I wasted many hours trying to write I drank a bottle of rum and nearly died I can't forget her nose and both her eyes I cannot let her know that I'm on fire

Watch as I fail and then tell me to leave Punish the voice and then see if I breathe I can see that I should always believe That there's no way I'll see you again I know that you can be much meaner than me Because talking to you is so suffocating If I could only leave I don't know who would wave And there's no way I'll see you again

It seems the lies I told you felt alright The waves that I succumbed to crashed inside The place there once was water now is dry The rain you made is gone now and I'm on fire

cannot find it

Track		6
Length		1:02
Size		1.2 MB
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Notes		Meant to be a demo for later development, but I never went back to add lyrics or create more structure. I didn't want to lose the feel of it as it is.

Lyrics

[none]

Totally

Track		7
Length		2:00
Size		2.3 MB
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Notes		A sadder version of the Screeching Weasel song I already covered on "Dead Pigs"

Lyrics

Totally cool that your hair is blue
I totally drool when I think about you

Totally neat, totally sweet
Totally knock me off my feet
Totally rad but it's too bad
You're not aware of all my plans

Totally lust when I see you around
The Bellemont bus takes me right by your house

Totally neat, totally sweet
Totally knock me off my feet
Totally lame that you won't say
You'll hang out with me everyday

I totally I totally love everything about you

Leather Jacket

Track		8
Length		1:41
Size		2.0 MB
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Notes		Another Screeching Weasel cover.

Lyrics

I want to tell you what's on my mind
I want to bill you for wasted time
And wasted cigarettes that quenched your fix
And wasted spit I left there upon your lips

I'm getting used to the fact you left
I'm getting used to the loneliness
But even if you knew that you wouldn't care
Now I sit and talk to an empty chair

And bang my head against the wall
And think up ways I should have told you to fuck off
But I won't lose a bit of sleep
'Cause I know that you're really just a creep
And I've got something that I'm gonna keep
Forever and ever and ever
Your leather jacket

Brittle Rope

Track		9
Length		2:43
Size		3.2 MB
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Notes		Old song only now recorded.

Lyrics

Brittle rope splinters into my skin
If you knock then I won't let you in
But I'm feeling alive with what I have inside
And I don't know if I can ever win

You will love if you believe me, no

Plastic fibers cut into my skin
If you knock then I won't let you in
But I'm feeling alive with what I have inside
And I don't know if I can ever win

Polly

Track		10
Length		2:58
Size		3.8 MB
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Notes		The main guitar and vocal tracks were recorded on my Tascam 4-track back in 1999. I moved it to computer when I was working on "Dead Pigs" but it never sounded right. For this CD, I decided to redo the backing vocals and use it for filler so I could be done with it.

Lyrics

[Look them up yourself]

interlude

Track		11
Length		1:24
Size		1.3 MB
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Notes		While fixing a few of this CD's songs' bass problems, I quickly through this together and decided it'd make sense as an interlude between sad and happy songs. In lieu of cassettes or records, it'd be a good way to transit from one side to the next. I like an album with stuff in between songs. I wanted more on this album but didn't quite get around to it.

Lyrics

[none]

Happy

Track		12
Length		2:18
Size		2.9 MB
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Notes		A stupid easy riff to showcase my keyboard skills on the Yamaha HS-500.

Lyrics

[none]

All the Things She Said

Track		13
Length		3:22
Size		4.0 MB
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Notes		I covered a t.A.T.u. song. I think it sounds pretty awesome.

Lyrics

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
This is not enough

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind
Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?

Porch

Track		14
Length		3:57
Size		4.9 MB
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Notes		I like the Pearl Jam song. I wanted to cover it, and for the most part, I like my interpretion more than the original. I also changed some lyrics.

Lyrics

What the fuck is this world
Running to, you didn't
Leave a message, at least
I coulda learned your voice one last time
Daily minefield, this could
Be my time by you
Would you hit me?
Would you hit me?
Oh oh oh

All the bills go by and
Initiatives are taken up
By the middle, there ain't gonna be any middle any more
And the cross I'm bearing home
Ain't indicative of my place
Left the porch
Left the porch
Oh oh oh

Hear my name, take a good look
This could be the end
Hold my hand, walk beside me
I just need to say

Hear my name, take a good look
This could be the end
Hold my hand, lie beside me
I just need to say
I could not take a-just one day
I know when I would not ever
Touch you, hold you, feel you, never hold
Never again
Yeah...

Come As We Were

Track		15
Length		3:09
Size		3.5 MB
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Notes		Samples from Nirvana's "Come As You Are" and "tourette's" as well as some weird stuff from a Sonic Youth song.

Lyrics

[none]

porn

Track		16
Length		3:52
Size		4.5 MB
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Notes		I found an mpeg one night and it was so rhythmic and inspiring.

Lyrics

[none]

Meat Frequency

Track		17
Length		5:50
Size		6.4 MB
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Notes		I finally put this together after so many years. It started as a mix of sounds I made with Cool Edit, ear-piercing sounds that give me a headache.

Lyrics

The ground meat is in the oven
Tasting, checking temperature
I don't know
Deep
Cannot tell the frequency
Many many dead
And the meat in the oven

And I've laid still
Then they came to the door
And they opened the oven the door
The meat (pain) ends
I can't quite figure it out what are going on

Many dead (deep)
Tasting (deep)
Frequency (deep)
Checking temperature (deep)

What are going on?

Trying Too Hard

Track		18
Length		3:30
Size		4.1 MB
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Notes		I'm not sure if this is lame or pretty cool. Me? Rapping? What do I have to say?

Lyrics

What's this tambourine doing? Does it keep going? What the hell? Wait. Wait, does the beat come in or... or is this... does it just keep going? Okay. There we go. I got it. Um. Wait, do I just... do I just start? Or... Wait, back it up again. No. To the beginning. Okay, just go.

I'm tryin' too hard to be what I can't and it
Seems like these words they don't really matter
Fifty-two tries to find the right rhythmic pattern
Turns out I don't really have the talent
Beatin' my head to loosen the words that can
Flow out the mouths of more able black men
Maybe I can't but maybe I really want to
Find something that you can shake and groove to

Mundane concepts fly, triggered by privileged thought
Sitting in rooms, not thinking 'bout what went wrong
"There's no Other here". What about point of view?
Plastic windows can't reach around, drip from view

[chorus]

Bridge
This is the bridge
This is the bridge
The perfect time to fall back and think about the bridge
This is the bridge
This is the bridge
I can't think about any other words right now

Sunglasses on face, believing that he owns all
Driving around in fancy car that he bought
Treating others with contempt, he deserves
All the privilege that white skin has not earned

[chorus]

Sometimes Can't See Lightning

Track		19
Length		3:09
Size		3.7 MB
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Notes		A song about relaxing outdoors in Nature and trying not to worry about the things that don't really matter.

Lyrics

Hold on, wind can take you
Drift on where you go to
You're like that, didn't you notice?
Sometimes can't see lightning

Look up, why's your head down?
Green leaves make the shade so
We lie back, watch the birds and
Clouds flow cause they like it

Sky breathe, find it though where I feed
I can't find it there on my own
My seed might be thought to whine free
Lime scent, try it still and I roam

The K Stands for Kay

Track		20
Length		1:03
Size		1.3 MB
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Notes		Also for Rikki's birthday in 2005. I ran out of time, so I kept it short. In doing so, it is believed by some to not really be about someone.

Lyrics

In the first place
I wrote a ballad again
And I keep rewriting lines

Commander, back off
I see you wasting your time
Step away 'cause she is mine

And the K it stands for Kay